


No Sweet Dream

by ByAStream



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, background Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByAStream/pseuds/ByAStream
Summary: Sometimes running leads to finding the family you never knew you needed.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 22





	No Sweet Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Written for captain-kelli's 500 follower challenge on Tumblr! Prompt: Nightmare- Halsey
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com 
> 
> I often post on Tumblr first and then here!

Blood ran down your arm as you stood, staring at the shattered pieces of the mirror in the sink of the crappy motel you were in. You thought of how you had ended up there. You were running, always running. Never stopping. Not since it happened, not since she told you to run and never look back. You hadn’t stopped since. 

Looking in the mirror, you had just seen his eyes staring back at you. It was too much to take and your fist had met the glass before you could stop yourself. It likely wasn’t the first time the motel had seen broken furniture and it wouldn’t be the last. 

Your father had been a piece of work. A religious fanatic turned HYDRA operative. At the center of it all was you and your powers. From the time you had hit puberty, you had displayed an innate ability to take control of elements. It had started with earth. You had kept it to yourself as a young child, afraid of your father. Your father was strongly anti-mutant, unless they were being used as weapons. He had joined HYDRA by the time he discovered you had been hiding your abilities. You were sixteen at the time. For him, it meant he had a bargaining chip to gain power. There was no telling what HYDRA could do with someone like you. 

You were a tool, an asset. No longer your own person. Not there. Not with them. A means to an end, the end being the destruction of those who stood in the way of HYDRA. When they lost the Winter Soldier, you became their next best asset, regardless of the other soldiers they had. No, you were  _ special _ .  You had abilities that could be used, be manipulated. Abilities you fought against using at every turn.  Your skin crawled with discomfort as you thought of your time with them, under the thumb of Alexander Pierce, of Brock Rumlow. With the fall of SHIELD and the exposure of HYDRA, you had been at his mercy. Until she found you and told you to run. You knew of her. The Black Widow, an Avenger, one of the ones Brock had wanted you to take out. You didn't stop running.

You knew he'd died that day, suicide bomb. But so had innocent people. The world blamed the Avengers, called for them to be reigned in, for the UN to have control. You couldn't see how that would end well, but somehow, it did. You were in the middle of Iowa when the news broke about Captain America returning, no longer a fugitive, and Sergeant Barnes being cleared of charges. He was being treated in an undisclosed location. 

Months later found you in upstate New York, the middle of winter. You had found work at a diner. You hadn't found an apartment, you rarely stuck around long enough to require one. Keep moving. Keep running. Don’t give anyone a chance to get the drop on you. You refused to allow yourself to be used again. You were not a weapon. You were not a killer. You were not what HYDRA made you. You repeated that to yourself, over and over. 

The bell above the door jingled, your head snapping to the door out of reflex. You never could relax enough, no matter how long you spent in one place or how many diners or mom and pop shops you worked in. You tripped backwards over your feet when you saw her. Her eyes met yours, recognition on her face. Your heart rate jumped, sweat beaded on your forehead, and your breathing was unsteady. Run. Run. RUN. It was all you could think in that moment. Never stop running, even from her, even from an Avenger. Your safety depended on never being found. Your shift was up, and you couldn’t rip the apron your wore off fast enough, the back door clattering behind you as you took off for your car. You knew you couldn’t outrun the Avengers, couldn’t hide from them. As you drove, your panic lessened as more distance was put between you and the diner. It led to where you were now. Staring at the shattered mirror, ignoring the pain, and wondering if you’d ever know normal. 

* * *

Natasha sighed as she watched you tense when you saw her. She had been keeping tabs on you for months since Rumlow’s demise and the fallout from it all. She knew you weren’t a threat. You were scared. HYDRA had had a hold on you since you were a teenager. The events leading to HYDRA being exposed only caused you more trouble.

“That was her?” Steve asked. Both Natasha and Bucky nodded.

“They called her the Elemental. HYDRA isn’t exactly creative with what they call their assets,” Bucky said. 

“Her fear is strong, but her desire to survive is stronger,” Wanda said, her voice low. You had been projecting both things strongly enough that it had hit her the second they walked into the diner. 

“What’s our plan here?” Sam asked.

“Wanda and I will go find her,” Natasha said, her tone leaving no room for argument.

* * *

You were startled by the knock on your door. You were in the middle of tending to the cuts caused by the mirror. You looked out the peep hole and saw Natasha Romanoff standing on the other side with Wanda Maximoff. You had choices, but none of them saw you evading the two women. You could fight your way out, but it was two on one and even with your abilities, you knew Maximoff’s powers were stronger. 

You sighed as you opened the door, your shoulders squared and your hands kept in loose fists. 

“You know, you’re a hard person to find,” the Black Widow said as she entered your room. Your eyes narrowed, taking in the two women as they invited themselves in.

“I never said you could come in,” you quipped. 

“No, you didn’t. But we both know why I’m here,” she said. Your eyes met hers. She didn’t seem hostile. 

“To arrest me? Kill me? Which is it, Romanoff?” you asked.

“If I was here to kill you, you’d already be dead. You know, when I told you to run, I didn’t mean forever,” she said. You scoffed.

“What choice was there? HYDRA’s still out there. It didn’t die with Pierce and Rumlow,” you snapped. 

“You could have come to us,” she said. You shook your head.

“I’m tired of being used as a weapon. I’m tired of being used, period. I was used by my father to get ahead in HYDRA. I was used by HYDRA to kill, to threaten. Does that end if I join the Avengers or is it just the same thing with a different name?” you asked. 

“We can protect you,” she said. You took a breath, keeping yourself in check. If you let your emotions get the best of you, there was no telling what could happen. 

“I can do that just fine myself, thanks. I hear what you’re offering and I don’t want it. I’m done fighting,” you said.

“Then you don’t have to fight, but what is constantly running doing for you? Can you honestly say you’re living? Or are you just surviving?” Wanda asked you. You leaned against the wall, lost in thought for a moment. What was living when you were running for your life? What was living when you weren’t sure what monsters lurked in the dark, waiting for you to slip up? When was the last time you listened to music or watched a movie? You couldn’t remember. 

“I...what do I do?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper. Your shoulders sagged and the weight of the past months, no the past  _ years _ , collapsed in on you. You couldn’t remember the last time you let yourself cry. You thought you’d forgotten how to.  _ Never show weakness _ you remembered being told. You felt two arms wrap around you and you tensed. When was the last time anyone had hugged you? Touched you with intent to comfort, not to hurt? You couldn’t remember that either. Kindness, after all, was yet another weakness. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” a soft voice said. Another set of arms wrapped around you, a hand rubbing soothing circles on your back as you buried your face in one of their shoulders, a soothing scent of lavender and honeysuckle filling your senses. 

* * *

Three months later found you training with Natasha and Wanda frequently. You refused to fight, to be part of the team. They refused to let you depend only on your powers to protect you. You had a constant onlooker in the form of Bucky Barnes. 

When you’d first met the man, you had been terrified. You had hid behind Natasha, feeling true fear for the first time in months. His expression had changed from a welcoming smile to one that showed the unusual, yet heartbreaking, combination of understanding and hurt. 

_ “For what its worth, I’m not him anymore,” he said. You peeked out from behind Natasha, really taking a moment to take him in. His stance was open and relaxed. His arm was different than you remembered, his hair shorter. You knew now that he was Bucky Barnes. He was more than the Asset that had plagued your nightmares. You had seen what he could do and it had terrified you. He was your constant reminder of what HYDRA could do while you were both under their control. His eyes were blue, something you had never noticed before. You moved out from behind Natasha, taking slow steps toward him. You extended your hand to him, a peace offering or an introduction you weren’t sure, and gave him your name. He smiled at you, a genuine smile, not the tight lipped one that had graced his face when Natasha had brought you into the room. _

_ “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman,” he said. You felt your cheeks heat up from the compliment. It had been ages since you’d felt any kind of spark.  _

_ “You certainly are a charmer,” you replied, a smile settling on your face.  _

Since then, he had become part of your daily routine. He’d watch as you sparred with Nat or Wanda, giving advice when needed, small corrections to your form, new ways to see things. Never condescending or demanding, he took his role as a mentor seriously. Your trust and your friendship was a gift he never wanted to lose. You trusted him to be upfront with you about where your technique could use work. You trusted him to do that without treating you like a child. You may not have wanted to be an Avenger, something they all respected, but he knew it was something you’d excel at. 

“Still haven’t changed you mind?” Natasha asked as you took a break. You shook your head.

“I like what I’m doing now, Nat. The intel, the research. It’s nice. It’s peaceful. I’m tired of fighting. I spent too long under someone’s thumb. And then all that time running...it’s nice to be home, to have a family, to finally live,” you said. She was quiet for a moment. 

“Family,” she said, a smile forming on her lips. 

“Well, there is one person I wouldn’t necessarily call family,” you said quietly, your eyes flicking to where Bucky stood, in deep conversation with Steve and Sam who had entered the room. Natasha let out a small laugh before raising her eyebrows, a hint of suggestion in her expression. 

“So you want to bone the Winter Soldier,” she said, turning her chair around and sitting on it backwards. You and Wanda shared a look before bursting out laughing.

“Alright Captain America,” you teased. Natasha threw her empty water bottle at you, which you caught with ease before it hit your face. 

“That reminds me. Have you gotten an update from Peter on Operation Payback?” Wanda asked. You nodded. Operation Payback was the plan you, Peter, Wanda, and Sam had come up with after a particularly heinous day of training where Steve showed no mercy. Peter had just been forced to watch one of the PSAs in gym class, PSAs the rest of you had no idea existed until that moment. 

“Operation Payback?” Natasha asked curiously. 

“Nope. Not telling you a thing. You’re sleeping with the enemy,” you said. She sent a playful glare your way. 

* * *

You stared at Steve in disbelief, shaking your head as he spoke. He couldn’t be serious. He had promised you it would never come to this. 

“We need you out there. I know we made a promise but…,” his voice trailed off. Anger radiated off you in waves. 

“You made a promise now keep it,” you snapped. He ran a hand through his hair. 

“I wouldn’t be asking this if it wasn’t important. We sent a team in earlier this week,” he said. You froze. Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Wanda had left on a mission earlier in the week. Classified. 

“Steve?” you asked, your voice a whisper. He nodded, his expression grim.

“We lost contact an hour ago. They’re somewhere in the north of Finland. Storm’s rolling in,” he said. You took a breath. 

“What’s in Finland, Captain?” you asked, shifting from being staunchly against being sent out on a mission into preparing yourself for something you swore you’d never do. Your friends were in danger, and that was that only thing that mattered to you. 

“One of the few active HYDRA bases remaining. After everything that’s happened, they’re still here. Decimated, but surviving,” he said. 

“What’s our plan here, Cap? We can’t just go in guns blazing,” you said. He looked at you, eyes locked on yours. 

“So you’re in?” he asked.

“If it means saving our friends? I’ve lost enough already. I’m not losing them too. HYDRA’s been in my nightmares since the day Nat told me to run. Maybe it’s time for me to become their nightmare,” you told him. He nodded. 

“Alright. We’ve got a briefing with the rest of the team in ten,” he said. 

That was how you found yourself on a quinjet with Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor, Clint, and Peter. You didn’t want to think about what would happen to your friends, about what HYDRA would do to them. By the time you were touching down, you had been up for over twenty four hours. You had been getting ready for bed when Steve had called for you. 

It hadn’t surprised you that Tony had a suit ready for you.  _ “Just in case we ever needed to break that glass, kid”  _ he had told you when he showed you. Fireproof, because sometimes you ended up accidentally setting your clothes on fire when using your powers. 

Bruce was hanging back. If push came to shove and you needed Hulk, it would take him almost no time at all to reach the base. You were paired off with Steve. 

As you entered, there was an eerie silence. There were bodies strewn about, proof that a fight had happened. But what happened to the team? You and Steve shared looks of confusion as you moved deeper into the base. It was on the third level down, the bottom floor that you heard it. Wanda’s scream. Your instinct was to run toward the sound, but Steve held you back.

“We can’t just run in guns blazing,” he reminded you. You nodded. You focused in. You weren’t sure how to describe it, but with the vibrations, you could get a rough idea of how many people were around. You had been inspired to try that after a weekend binge of  _ Avatar: The Last Airbender  _ with Peter and Wanda. You were starting to wonder if your mutation had been influenced by the show. 

“What is it?” Steve asked. 

“You know that new talent I figured out? I think we’re looking at six people, not including the team. Hard to tell...haven’t exactly perfected it,” you murmured. 

“Can you get a sense of weapons?” he asked. You glared at him.

“No. Cap, we have limited choices here,” you said as Wanda’s scream pierced the air once more. 

The two of you shared a look. You nodded toward the door. It didn’t take long for it to kick off once you and Steve breached the door. You couldn’t let yourself be distracted by your friends. You had to focus on the fight.

“It’s the Elemental,” one of the men said as your fist connected with the face of another. You just smirked.

“I’d prefer to be called your worst nightmare,” you quipped. If the situation wasn’t so dire, you were certain you’d have heard a chorus of groans from that one. Somehow, they had gotten the upper hand, Steve knocked down and knocked out, leaving you to face the three men left standing.

“You’ve had your fun. It’s time to come home,” the one said. You recognized his voice. Aleksi was one of Pierce’s closest allies. You froze. Pierce was a horrible man, Rumlow no better. But Aleksi was worse. You took a breath.

“No,” was all you said. When all was said and done, Aleksi was the only one still breathing of the men who were holding your friends captive, and if you had it your way, it wouldn’t be for long. 

“You think...if you kill me that’s the end? It will never end,” he said, his breathing ragged. You ignored him, focusing on your friends. The others had arrived just as the fight had ended. Bucky was out cold, along with Steve. Wanda, Nat, and Sam were injured. But they were alive. And that was what mattered. 

* * *

You hadn’t left Bucky’s side since you landed back at the compound, except to let Dr. Cho check him over. He was still out, seventeen hours after arriving back, not that you had been counting. If you had been counting, you would have noted that it had been seventeen hours, nineteen minutes, and seven seconds since you had stepped off the quinjet. But you weren’t counting. Steve had woken up on the plane and the others were well on their way to making a recovery. 

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway. You looked up to see Natasha standing there, arm in a sling.

“You put up a hell of a fight,” she said. 

“You’re not here to talk me into joining full time, are you?” you asked her. She shook her head. 

“If how things stand makes you happy, there’s no reason for it to change. Though, your skills would be useful in the field,” she said.

“So why are you here?” you asked.

“You need to eat. And sleep on something that isn’t that chair. And maybe admit that you want to bone the Winter Soldier,” she said. You groaned.

“When you put it that way it sounds so crude. I don’t want to ‘bone’ him, Nat. I mean, I do, but I want more than that,” you said. She smirked. 

“You like him,” she said. You shook your head.

“I think I love him,” you said, unaware of the supersoldier waking up in the hospital bed beside you. 

“Is that why you went on the mission?” she asked.

“No,” you said, earning a glare from her, “partly. But. You guys were in danger. I had the ability to help. You’re my family, Nat. If any of you had died...and I could have prevented it?” you said, your voice breaking. 

“But we didn’t, and you were there. Don’t dwell on the what ifs,” she said. You heard movement beside you and saw Bucky sitting up. When you looked back to Nat, she was gone. 

“You love me,” Bucky said, a teasing smirk on his face. 

“But, you already knew that,” you told him. 

“I’ve had my suspicions. But I’ll let you in on a secret, doll. I think I love you too,” he said. Dr. Cho chose that moment to enter the room, running some quick tests before clearing Bucky to leave medical. You walked with him to his door.

“How about a date? Tonight? We can go to that Italian place you like,” he said. You shook your head and watched as the smile fell from his face.

“I want to go on a date, but we’ve had an exhausting few days, don’t you think? How about a movie night?” you asked him. 

Life had been a nightmare. But that nightmare led to family. You didn’t need to be afraid anymore. You could stand on your own just fine, but life was much better when you had others to stand with you. You didn’t have to run anymore. 


End file.
